Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Runner's Spouses,Friends and Significant Others

It is my continuing desire to provide info and articles that aren't readily available on other sites dedicated to running. With that said I will ask this question, when was the last time you read a post that pertained to what is written in the above title? Ideally, what I am about to write would be most appropriate for those who are young or people who have recently discovered that they too live for the run. I have written in the past that those who are considering committing to another person must make it clear to them from the onset regarding their zeal for running. If this person has a problem with your "passion" then you have two choices,either end the relationship or give up your "passion." The problem with giving up your "passion" for a relationship is that if your significant other doesn't understand your zeal for running, then this might be a "red flag" indicating that this person has a problem with anything you are into and they aren't. If that's the case, then this doesn't bode well for a healthy long-term relationship.

Now lets look at running and relationships from another angle. During the several decades that I have been to races I've seen many runners neglect, use and abuse their spouses,friends and significant others because of their running and racing.Let me give you some examples: Joe likes to go out of town several times a year to run marathons and other races. This usually involves being gone at least Friday,Saturday and Sunday with "the boys" to cities like Boston,N.Y.C.,Charlotte, and Tampa. He spends alot of money in the process and has never taken his running supportive wife to any of them. His idea of a vacation for him and her is to go off-season to Myrtle Beach for 5 days,every September. Then there's Tony, he 5 years out of college and is the local road racing stud. His long-time girlfriend from college is his #1 fan and supporter. Tony has issues,when he doesn't perform up to HIS expectations,which is 65% of the time,he barks at her and is a pain in the ass to be around for the rest of the day. I should add that if he wins it doesn't necessarily mean that he will be in a good mood. The key here is if he performs up to his (Tony's) expectations. When he does have a "good day" he spends most of his post-race time with the other local "heroes" getting his ego stroked while the girlfriend hooks up with another neglected significant other.It doesn't take a Rhodes scholar to see what the problem is with both of these characters,they are among other things,quite selfish.Running is potentially a self-centered endeavor if you don't consider the feelings and needs of others close to you. Sure, you have a right to go here and there to run,but,you must reciprocate by making time for that spouse,friend or significant other. I've known those who are partners of runners who've come to hate the sport because they believe it has become a hindrance to their spending time together. The reality is,is that it's the runner who is the hindrance to the relationship because of his selfishness.As far as guys like Tony? Hey guy, grow-up! Being the local stud at the races doesn't give you license to go off when you don't race well. After all, this isn't like it's a national championship.It's a local road race! And what I say goes to the others who finish back in the pack yet behave after some races like they were the 4th man at the Olympic trials.Getting back to the guys who make it a point to leave their significant other and go off to "exotic" locales with the boys to race I ask this,would it kill you to bring that certain someone along? Take it from a guy who saw the light many years ago,having that partner along as a support and encouragement is no sacrifice,it's a huge plus. Ultimately, it all comes down to this, it's not just about you or me,it's about having consideration and not being selfish.Unfortunately,for too many runners,they never realize that.

1 comment:

  1. Nice read. I must say that is is definitely a plus that the person I have been seeing recently also runs ultras and other running events. Having that common ground and level of understanding of what goes into it is wonderful.